Frot - Sexual Practices - Comparison With Anal Sex and Debates

Comparison With Anal Sex and Debates

Some gay men, or men who have sex with men (MSM) in general, prefer to engage in frot or other forms of mutual masturbation because they find it more pleasurable or more affectionate than anal sex, to preserve technical virginity, or as safe sex alternatives to anal penetration. This preference has led to some debate in the gay male and MSM community regarding what constitutes "real sex" or the most sensual expression of sexual intimacy. Some frot advocates view "two genitals coming together by mingling, caressing, sliding" and rubbing as "sex" more than other forms of bodily pleasuring. Others associate male masculinity with the sexual positions of "tops" and "bottoms" during anal sex.

During anal sex, the insertive partner is referred to as the top or active partner. The man being penetrated is referred to as the bottom or passive partner. Preference for either is referred to as versatile. Some frot advocates insist that such roles introduce inequality during sexual intimacy, and that frottage is "equal" because of mutual genital-genital stimulation. The lack of mutual genital stimulation and role asymmetry has led other frot advocates to denounce anal sex as degrading to the receptive partner. This view of dominance and inequality associated with sex roles is disputed by researchers, who state that it is not clear that specific sexual acts are necessarily indicative of general patterns of masculinity or dominance in a gay male relationship, and that, for both partners, anal intercourse can be associated with being masculine. Additionally, some frot advocates, such as Bill Weintraub, are concerned with diseases that may be acquired through anal sex. In a 2005 article in The Advocate, one anal sex opponent said that no longer showing anal sex as erotic would help avoid AIDS, and opined that some gay men perceived him to be antigay when he was only trying to keep gay and bisexual men alive and healthy.

The view that anal sex is something that should be discouraged is not supported by all frot supporters. Author Joe Perez states that Weintraub and his followers have "gone overboard" in their enthusiasm for frot by claiming that supporting frot means disowning anal sex or that the latter is "inherently degrading, unnatural, or disease-spreading." He says Weintraub and his supporters' views should be taken "with a grain of salt if you can" and that he hopes for more inclusive frot communities.

Gay men, and MSM in general, who prefer anal sex may view it as " version of intercourse" and as "the natural apex of sex, a wonderful expression of intimacy, and a great source of pleasure". Psychologist Walt Odets said, "I think that anal sex has for gay men the same emotional significance that vaginal sex has for heterosexuals." The act is generally viewed as vanilla sex among MSM, and is often thought to be expected, even by MSM who do not prefer the act. "Some people like because it seems taboo or naughty," stated author and sex therapist Jack Morin. "Some people like the flavor of dominance and submission... some don’t."

MSM who defend the essential validity of anal sex have rejected most of the claims made by radical frot advocates. Others have at times disparaged frottage as a makeshift, second-rate form of male/male intimacy — something better left to inexperienced teenagers and "closeted" older men. Odets said, "No one would propose that we initiate a public health measure by de-eroticizing vaginal sex. It would sound like a ridiculous idea. It's no less ridiculous for gay men."