Death
Ellen West’s life was marred by thoughts related to death anxiety. Towards the end of her life, it could be said that she had a death obsession. West was given a great variety of diagnoses including melancholia, severe obsessive neurosis, and even schizophrenia. While her major problem dealt with food, what started out as a diagnosis of anorexia nervosa morphed into bulimia nervosa with the fear of becoming fat through eating. This fixation caused her great depression, as her focus day in and out was on eating or not eating. This "obsession with death" became "life's only goal" and that the "symbolization of life and death took place around the act of eating." West’s fear of becoming fat caused her to welcome death as an acceptable outcome, as then she wouldn’t have to worry anymore. She was often quoted by her psychiatrist, Ludwig Binswanger, explaining how her life felt like a prison that could be only made better by dying. To West, her life felt empty and dull, and filling her body with food only made her feel worse. Filling herself with food actually made her feel empty. It was even suggested that suicide by starvation became her life’s purpose, whereas continuing to feed herself would be equal to committing murder on someone. This underlying issue of death obsession can be exemplified by other harmful behaviors that she engaged in. West reportedly did several dangerous things to invite illness and death, including riding horse dangerously, kissing children with scarlet fever, and standing outside naked after bathing. Her eventual death came after taking a lethal dose of poison. West’s psychiatrist Binswanger was quoted as saying, “She looked as she had never looked in life- calm and happy and peaceful.” He thought of her illness as a defense against anxieties which were heightened and overbalanced, but anxieties nonetheless.
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