Early Life and Career of Abraham Lincoln - Courtships, Marriage, and Family

Courtships, Marriage, and Family

Soon after he moved to New Salem, Lincoln met Ann Rutledge. Historians do not agree on the significance or nature of their relationship, but according to many she was his first and perhaps most passionate love. At first they were probably just close friends, but soon they had reached an understanding that they would be married as soon as Ann had completed her studies at the Female Academy in Jacksonville. Their plans were cut short in the summer of 1835 when what was probably typhoid fever hit New Salem. Ann died on August 25, 1835, and Lincoln went through a period of extreme melancholy that lasted for months. It has been suggested that the intention to settle down with Ann Rutledge was an additional factor in Lincoln’s turn to the legal profession.

In either 1833 or 1834, Lincoln had met Mary Owens, the sister of his friend Elizabeth Abell, when she was visiting from her home in Kentucky. In 1836, in a conversation with Elizabeth, Lincoln agreed to court Mary if she ever returned to New Salem. Mary did return in November 1836, and Lincoln courted her for a time. However they both had second thoughts about their relationship. On August 16, 1837 Lincoln wrote her a letter from Springfield suggesting the relationship should end. She never replied and the courtship was over.

In 1839 Mary Todd moved from the family home in Lexington, Kentucky to Springfield and the home of her eldest sister, Elizabeth Porter (née Todd) Edwards and husband Ninian W. Edwards, son of Ninian Edwards. Mary was popular in the Springfield social scene but soon was attracted to Lincoln. Sometime in 1840 the two became engaged. They aimed for a January 1, 1841 wedding but they mutually called it off. During this break in his courtship with Mary, Lincoln briefly courted Sarah Rickard, whom he had known since 1837. Lincoln proposed marriage in 1841 but was rejected. Sarah later said that "his peculiar manner and his General deportment would not be likely to fascinate a young girl just entering the society world.

Lincoln still had conflicted feelings concerning Mary Todd. In August 1841 he visited his close friend and former roommate Joshua Speed who had moved to Louisville, Kentucky. Lincoln met Speed's fiancee while there, and after his return to Springfield Speed and Lincoln corresponded over Speed's own doubts about marriage. Lincoln counselled Speed and helped convince him to proceed with the marriage. In turn, Speed helped Lincoln with his own doubts, and he resumed his courtship of Mary. On November 4, 1842 Lincoln and Mary Todd were married at the Edwards' home. In a letter written a few days after the wedding, Lincoln wrote, "Nothing new here except my marrying, which to me, is matter of profound wonder."

The couple had four sons. Robert Todd Lincoln was born in Springfield, Illinois on August 1, 1843. Their only child to survive into adulthood, young Robert attended Phillips Exeter Academy and Harvard College. Robert died on July 26, 1926, in Manchester, Vermont. The other Lincoln children were born in Springfield, Illinois, and died either during childhood or their teen years. Edward Baker Lincoln was born on March 10, 1846, and died on February 1, 1850, also in Springfield. William Wallace Lincoln was born on December 21, 1850, and died on February 20, 1862 in Washington, D.C., during President Lincoln's first term. Thomas "Tad" Lincoln was born on April 4, 1853, and died on July 16, 1871 in Chicago, Illinois.

Four of his wife's brothers fought for the Confederacy, with one wounded and another killed in action. Lieutenant David H. Todd, a half-brother of Mary Todd Lincoln, served as commandant of the Libby Prison camp during the war.