Theory
The difference theory has roots in the studies of John Gumperz, who examined the differences in cross-cultural communication. While difference theory deals with cross-gender communication, the male and female genders are often presented as being two separate cultures, hence the relevance of Gumperz’s studies. In her development on the difference theory Deborah Tannen in particular drew on the work of Daniel Maltz and Ruth Borker and their 1982 paper ‘a cultural approach to male-female miscommunication’, which itself drew on the work of Gumperz. Mary Talbot makes reference to the term "gender-specific culture" in her critique of the difference theory, and this idea of gender-specific culture is embodied by the 1992 publication Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. The difference theory is often compared with dominance theory and deficit theory, and together with dynamic theory they make up four of the theories most widely referred to and compared in the study of language and gender.
The reason for the popularity of Tannen’s book You Just Don't Understand, and the resultant popularisation of difference theory, is generally attributed to the style of Tannen’s work, in which she adopts a neutral position on difference in genderlect, making no value-judgements about use of language by either gender. Talbot comments that this means the book provides explanation for domestic disputes without “pointing the finger” at anyone.
The difference theory as postulated by Tannen is generally summarised into six or seven different categories, each of which pairs a contrasting use of language by males compared to a use of language by females. They are typically given as follows, with each placing the male characteristic first.
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