Chewits - Former Advertising Slogans

Former Advertising Slogans

• "Chewits are chewier than Barrow-in-Furness Bus Depot"
• "Chewits, even chewier than a 15-storey block of flats"
• "No fruit chew chews chewier"
• "Chew for victory"
• "Chews flash"
• "Do it before you Chewit"
• "Chew Chewits coz' Chewits do it"
• "He likes to Chewit"
• "For monster chewers only"
• "There's no escaping the chew hit"
• "Chews life. Chews a job. Chews a career. Chews a family. Chews a fucking big television, Chews washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin can openers. Chews good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Chews fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Chews a starter home. Chews your friends. Chews leisure wear and matching luggage. Chews a three piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Chews DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Chews sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Chews rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Chews your future. Chews life . . . But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to Chews life: I chew something else."