Personal Life
Arbuthnot was first married on 28 February 1799 to Marcia Mary Anne Clapcott Lisle, at Cholmondeley House, Piccadilly. His first wife was born on 9 July 1774, and had been Lady-in-Waiting since 1795 to Caroline of Brunswick, Princess of Wales. Marcia's portrait was painted by John Hoppner and an engraving of the portrait was made by Joshua Reynolds. The couple's four children included General Charles George James Arbuthnot and Marcia Arbuthnot, who later married William Cholmondeley, 3rd Marquess of Cholmondeley. She died in Constantinople on 24 May 1806.
After being widowed, Arbuthnot married a second time on 31 January 1814 at Fulbeck, Lincolnshire, to Harriet Fane (1793–1834), a daughter of the Hon. Henry Fane. Harriet was fascinated by politics. During her marriage to Arbuthnot, she became a hostess at society dinners given by Arbuthnot's good friend, the Duke of Wellington. During the latter years of Arbuthnot's life, after the death of Harriet, he lived in Apsley House, the Duke's London residence, as his confidential friend. Their story is told in Wellington and the Arbuthnots by E. A. Smith. which refutes the suggestion that Harriet was Wellington's mistress.
Harriet's portrait was also painted by John Hoppner and it is now in Foundation Lazzaro Galdiano, Madrid. Sir Thomas Lawrence's portrait of her is at Woodford, Northamptonshire. Her diaries were published as The Journal of Mrs Arbuthnot in 1950.
Arbuthnot died at Apsley House in August 1850, aged 83. S. Gambardello's portrait of him is at Apsley House.
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“Wherever the State touches the personal life of the infant, the child, the youth, or the aged, helpless, defective in mind, body or moral nature, there the State enters ‘woman’s peculiar sphere,’ her sphere of motherly succor and training, her sphere of sympathetic and self-sacrificing ministration to individual lives.”
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