Plot
The third grade girls, led by Lizzy, challenge the boys to a sled race down Phil Collins Hill. After the boys accept the challenge, Cartman gets into an argument with Token, because he keeps reminding him about his "fat ass". Cartman threatens to throw a rock at Token's face if he ever calls him fat again. Kyle then calls Cartman a fatass instead, causing him to throw the rock at Token, giving him a black eye in the process, much to Kyle's shock. Because Token is African-American, the FBI overreacts at the situation. Assuming that the rock was thrown because of racism and not provocation, the government tries Cartman in a federal court. The prosecution's case, although utterly nonsensical, is accepted by the judge, who wishes to make an example out of Cartman to warn against racists. Cartman is convicted of a hate crime, and sentenced to juvenile prison until he reaches the age of 21. Cartman escapes the courtroom and enlists Kenny and his Go Go Action Bronco toy car to try to flee to Mexico, but eventually fails.
The boys realize that without Cartman's weight on the back of their sled, they are doomed to lose. Clyde takes over for Cartman, since he is the second fattest in the grade (despite the fact that Clyde has normal weight like everyone else), and everyone immediately starts calling him 'fatass'. Clyde tries to get them to stop, and yells "God dammit," seeing that he is like Cartman. In addition, Token is willing to forgive Cartman, but Token's father, who is himself against hate crime laws, tells the boys they will have to convince the Governor of Colorado to free Cartman. The boys then put on a presentation before the governor, complete with visual aids, in which they detail their opposition to hate crime laws, declaring it a "savage hypocrisy" (their visual has it as "a savage hypocracy") and arguing that all forms of crime warrant some sort of hate, and that the laws serve only to encourage discrimination further. The governor is impressed, claiming that it made more sense than anything else he has heard in the last three years.
Meanwhile, Cartman adapts to life in prison by smuggling in things for his cellmate, Romper Stomper, who, along with Cartman, escapes the prison. They are caught by the authorities, who take Romper Stomper back to the prison, but tell Cartman that he has been pardoned by the governor. Cartman returns home, arriving at the sled race just as they are about to begin, and helps the boys beat the girls, who crash their sled and are all injured (save for Lizzy, who is carried off by a bear).
Cartman goes back to jail, just to only pay a visit to Romper, who has always wanted to see Disneyland, and grants his wish by defecating it (off-camera), having smuggled it in his ass, much to Romper's delight.
Read more about this topic: Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000
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