Cannon (TV Series) - Famous Cannon Quotes

Famous Cannon Quotes

To a client: "OK, sir, I'll take your case and investigate what happened...But just remember, the truth is like rain --- it doesn't care who gets wet."

To an underling of a crime boss: "Number one: I don't talk to pip-squeaks and Number two: I don't work for no $500."

To a suspect: "Fresh air?...When I get through with you, the only fresh air you're gonna get will be in an exercise yard."

To a client: "You have just asked the question that sends me right through the ceiling...I'd like to go one day without someone asking me: 'Can I trust you?'...Well, the answer is: 'No, no, you cannot trust me, why don't you try Lt. Hayes?'"

To a client: "Listen to me...When you withhold information from me, not only do you compromise my ability to investigate -- but you make me appear as a jack-ass."

To the proprietor of the club where a murder victim worked: "Well surely you have his W-2 form?....Or doesn't your establishment worry about things like taxes."

To the proprietor of the club where a murder victim worked (same): "Now tell me about Sam Gerritz...And not how he danced, but how he died."

Pressing a thug's head up against bubbling grease in a fry-o-lator basket: "OK...Now I wanna know who's behind the pressure to get me out of town, hmmm."

To a guy sticking his finger in his face: "Don't point your finger at me!!...I hate it when people point fingers at people!"

To an African-American couple over Cannon's apartment for dinner: "What makes you think a person like me wouldn't enjoy soul food?..Just remember, when it comes to the soul, we do not count the calories."

Over the phone to a crime boss who's thug Cannon beat up after being attacked: "I guess you didn't send one of your better boys...You'll find him on the hood of his car."

To a man ready to commit his 3rd murder: "You seem to have established your standard operating procedure fairly well."

To a sleazy bar-owner: "With what I could dig up on you in two days, I could put you away for 20 years...But lucky for you, I need to catch a murderer...So I'm going to ask you just one more time --- who was the man who ran outta here?"

To a teen-age punk who tells Cannon to mind his own business because his father is Chief-of-Police: "I'm sure he's really proud of you."

To a man about to reach into his pocket for a gun: "I suggest you don't do that, sonny."

In response to a man who answered that a murdered con-man seemed like a pretty nice guy: "Really?...Because "Nice Guy" is a Minority Report."

In response to a police detective who intimated that Cannon's client was a prime suspect because the murder victim owed her money and people get killed for owing money: "Well people get killed playing radios in bathtubs too."

On asked whether he would take a case written into a will (the dead man stipulated that his death was to be investigated before dispersion of his assets): "I'll have to think about it...You see, I've never been retained by a dead man before."

Waking up groggy at sunrise after a nighttime car crash: "Where's my Egg McMuffin?...I want my Egg McMuffin!...Oh, my head"

To a mentally ill client who tells Cannon he feels like he's in a movie doing horrible things to people, but can't stop: "Maybe it's time you walked out on that movie."

To a guy (Dale) about to be beaten up by a loanshark: "I said HOLD IT!...Who's the paper tiger, Dale?...Does he always maul his clients like that?"

To mentally-ill teen-ager with a Charles Manson-like following who was threatening to throw himself off a cliff to commit suicide: "I won't let you do it Larry...No way...So that all the kids in this town can yell 'Martyr' every time the sun goes down."

Approaching vandals who trashed a client's restaurant: "Why, you animals!"

After being knocked down a flight of stairs by a baby carriage, a client standing nearby says that the kid upstairs collect bottles: "Well, maybe he thinks I give refunds."

To a murderer who tries to buy Cannon off with a tempting, 'how about I mention some figures?': "Figures?...How about 10 to 40 for Murder One?"

To a suspect who caught Cannon's arm with a fish-hook (causing Cannon great pain), but then said he was actually only trying to help: "You're about as helpful as a case of the plague!"

In response to an allegation that he was responsible for a senator committing suicide (Cannon had exposed the senator ordering murders): "No....He did it all himself."

Hearing how the client who just left him to die is an embezzler: "With the wisdom of hindsight, that doesn't surprise me."

To a supper club owner: "It's Friday night, there are maybe a dozen people out there, at 2 bucks a head...You must be a financial wizard -- you don't take in enough to wax your dance floors, yet you manage to meet a payroll and contribute large chucks of money to the Eckworth Foundation."

To the Eckworth Foundation president: "Mr. Eckworth...I came to Woodfield 24 hours ago without a care in the world...Since that time, I've been roughed up by the police, threatened by one of Webber's boys, and linked you to a murdered con-man you never met --- not to mention that Ernie Webber contributes large amounts of money to your foundation when he doesn't even take in enough to pay his light bill."