Lyrics of "Burlington Bertie From Bow"
- I'm Bert
- P'raps you've heard of me
- Bert
- You've had word of me,
- Plodding along
- Hearty and strong
- Living on plates of fresh air
- I dress up in fashion
- And when I am feeling depressed
- I shave from my cuff all the whiskers and fluff
- Stick my hat on and toddle up West
- I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirty
- and saunter along like a toff
- I walk down the Strand with my gloves on my hand
- Then I walk down again with them off
- I'm all airs and graces, correct easy paces
- Without food so long, I've forgot where my face is
- I'm Bert, Bert, I haven't a shirt
- But my people are well off you know.
- Nearly everyone knows me from Smith to Lord Rosebr'y,
- I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow.
- I stroll
- With Lord Hurlington,
- Roll
- In The Burlington
- Call for Champagne
- Walk out again
- Come back and borrow the ink
- I live most expensive
- Like Tom Lipton I'm in the swim
- He's got so much 'oof' he sleeps on the roof
- And I live in the room over him.
- I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirty
- And saunter along Temple Bar
- As round there I skip
- I keep shouting "Pip Pip!"
- And the darn'd fools think I'm in my car
- At Rothschild's I swank it
- My body I plank it
- On his front door step with The Mail for a blanket
- I'm Bert, Bert, and Rothschild was hurt
- He said "You can't sleep there" I said "Oh"
- He said "I'm Rothschild, sonny!" I said "That's damn'd funny,
- I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow"
- I smile
- Condescendingly
- While they're extending me
- Cheer upon cheer
- When I appear
- Captain with my polo team
- So strict are my people
- They're William the Conqueror's strain
- If they ever knew I'd been talking to you
- Why they'd never look at me again
- I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirty
- And reach Kempton Park around three
- I stand by the rail, when a horse is for sale
- And you ought to see Wooton watch me
- I lean on some awning while Lord Derby's yawning
- Then he bids two thousand and I bid "Good Morning
- I'm Bert, Bert, I'd buy one, a Cert
- But where would I keep it you know
- I can't let my man see me in bed with a gee-gee
- I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow!
- My pose,
- Tho' ironical
- Shows
- That my monocle
- Holds up my face, keeps it in place,
- Stops it from slipping away.
- Cigars, cigars,
- I smoke thousands,
- I usually deal in The Strand
- But you've got to take care when you're getting them there
- Or some idiot might step on your hand.
- I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirty
- And Buckingham Palace I view.
- I stand in the yard while they're changing the guard
- And the queen shouts across "Toodle oo"!
- The Prince of Wales' brother along with some other
- Slaps me on the back and says "Come and see Mother"
- I'm Bert, Bert, and royalty's hurt,
- When they ask me to dine I say no.
- I've just had a banana with Lady Diana
- I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow.
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