Band of The Bland - Fictional Character Biography

Fictional Character Biography

Howard is abducted from his home planet and is dropped into the Florida Everglades by the demonic Thog the Overmaster of the realm Sominus. He meets the Man-Thing, Korrek the Barbarian, Dakimh the Enchanter and Jennifer Kale, but falls off the inter-dimensional stepping stones. He materializes in Cleveland, Ohio and battles Garko the Man-Frog, for which he is arrested for disturbing the peace and mistaken for a mutant during a strip search. Released because the police fear he has mutant abilities, he encounters Bessie the Cow, a vampire cow.

Howard makes friends with an artists' model and a bizarre series of encounters follow. He battles Pro-Rata, the cosmic accountant, then meets Spider-Man. He battles Turnip-Man and the Kidney Lady. He then learns Quak Fu, encounters the Winky Man, a sleepwalking alter ego of Beverly's artist friend, Paul Same, who would become a series regular (and share the apartment), and becomes a wrestler.

Howard and Beverely hit the road, seeking shelter in a gothic mansion where they battle an animated Gingerbread Man. They eventually end up in New York City, where Howard is nominated for U.S. President by the All-Night Party. Howard battles the Band of the Bland — Dr. Angst, Sitting Bullseye, Tillie the Hun, the Spanker, and Black Hole — alongside the Defenders. A doctored-photo scandal leads him to Canada, and the defeat of a supervillain, Le Beaver, who falls to his death. Howard then suffers a nervous breakdown, and flees Bev and their situation on a bus. Unfortunately, the passengers are all believers in various weird cults, and try to interest Howard in them. His seatmates are Winda Wester (afflicted with an Elmer Fudd-like speech impediment) and S. Blotte the Kidney Lady. After the bus crashes, Howard and Winda are sent to a mental institution. There he meets Daimon Hellstrom, and is briefly possessed by Hellstrom's demonic soul, becoming the Son of Satan. Beverly and Paul get them both back to Cleveland. Later, while on a cruise ship returning from scenic Bagmom, Howard and Beverly are taken captive by Lester Verde, who had a crush on Beverly in college and is now in the identity of the supervillain Doctor Bong, who illegally marries Beverly against her will and transforms Howard into a human. After escaping back to New York and being restored to his natural form, Howard is hired as a dishwasher by Beverly's uncle and namesake, who goes by Lee. Howard battles Sudd, and then battles Soofi. Howard is then reunited with the Man-Thing, Korrek, and Jennifer Kale, and they all battle Bzzk'Joh. After finally meeting up with the cruise ship that rescues Paul and Winda, now befriended by socialite Iris Raritan, he then attends her party on Long Island, where he is abducted by the Ringmaster and his Circus of Crime. Paul is shot and left in a coma, and Winda, abandoned by Paul and Iris, is apparently raped by a hobo. After defeating the Circus of Crime, Howard, plagued by pessimistic dreams, goes his way alone, as he had at the beginning of the series.

Mantlo, beginning with Issue #30, returned the series to its former status quo, bringing Beverly back into the picture and having her divorce Doctor Bong, and getting Paul, who has been shot by the Ringmaster, out of the hospital. Lee Switzler brings everyone back to Cleveland and employs Howard as a cab driver, while Paul, back to being a somnambulist after his release from the hospital, seems to have become Winda's boyfriend. Howard dons a suit of "Iron Duck" armor, and battles Doctor Bong. He later battles Morton Erg and the Gopher. He encountered Dracula, and even returns to Duckworld at one point. At the end of the magazine series, Howard walks away from Beverly (at her request). After that, he is mistaken for "Duck Drake, Private Eye", meets CeCe Ryder when hitchhiking, and is later offered a genetically constructed mate whom he does not take to.

She-Hulk accidentally pulls him though a cosmic wormhole, and along with theoretical physicist Brent Wilcox, they prevent other universes from crowding out Earth-616. By this point, Beverly is working as a rent-a-ninja. Howard met the Critic, and traveled to the Baloneyverse, and battled Dr. Angst and his cohorts.

In an encounter with Peter Parker, Ben Reilly (then-current Spider-Man), and a rematch with the Circus of Crime, Howard and Beverly get stuck in a warehouse full of anthropomorphic ducks, briefly meeting Savage Dragon and Destroyer Duck. The group leaves the warehouse believing that they have brought the correct Howard with them.

The sorceress Jennifer Kale, in a weekly attempt to return Howard (a Howard with stubble who accuses her and Doctor Strange of being responsible for bringing him to this world) to his home world, inadvertently teleports Devil Dinosaur and Moon Boy into her New York apartment. The disoriented dinosaur attempts to eat Howard, but spits him out when shot with John Blaze's hellfire gun, then rampages through the city before being subdued by Ghost Rider (Daniel Ketch). Howard relates to the pair being trapped in a world he never made, and wanders off.