Anthony Lane - Lane's Maxims

Lane's Maxims

In his introduction to Nobody's Perfect: Writings from The New Yorker, Lane mentions five maxims that should be obeyed by anyone who, having tried and failed to gain respectable employment, has decided to throw in the sponge and become a movie critic instead:

1) Never read the publicity material.

2) Whenever possible, see a film in the company of ordinary human beings.

3) Try to keep up with documentaries about Swabian transsexuals {or, see everything regardless of budget and hype}.

4) Whenever possible, pass sentence on a movie the day after it comes out. Otherwise, wait fifty years.

5) Try to avoid the Lane technique of summer moviegoing.

The explanation for the 5th maxim is a good example of Lane's style:

On a broiling day, I ran to a screening of Contact, the Jodie Foster flick about messages from another galaxy. I made it for the opening credits, and, panting heavily — which, with all due respect, is not something that I find myself doing that often in Jodie Foster films — I started taking notes. These went "v. gloomy," "odd noir look for sci-fi," "creepy shadows in outdoor scene," and so on. Only after three-quarters of an hour did I remember to remove my dark glasses.