'Allo 'Allo! (series 1) - The Dance of Hitler Youth

The Dance of Hitler Youth

• Original airdate: 26 October 1984
• Written by: David Croft & Jeremy Lloyd
• Directed by: David Croft
• Produced by: David Croft
• Episode length: 35 minutes

René and Maria are having a secret meeting in the larder. Maria asks him if they will be married after the war and he assures her that they will. She also asks if he is sure nobody knows they are there and he assures her nobody knows - the second after which Michelle turns up by the window, wanting to talk to René. She informs him that monsieur LeClerc will arrive during the day, dressed as a cheese salesman. He will have a suitcase with cheese and also, hidden in a secret compartment, a new radio transmitter (as a replacement for the one they had to throw out). When Michelle has left, Edith calls for Maria and they have to end their little rendezvous.

Edith complains to René that Maria is taking too much time off. Yvette says René is wanted in the backroom and when he and she goes in there, it turns out she is the one who "wants" him there. She also asks him if they will be married after the war and he also assures her that they will. Edith walks into the room and demands an explanation to their standing with their arms around each other. René tells her he is teaching Yvette self-defence against drunk Germans. He then asks Yvette to show Edith what she would do to a drunk German - whereupon she hits him to the floor. After they have calmed down, Edith tells René that colonel Von Strohm is in the café, wanting a word with him.

The Germans are sitting at a table in the café and Gruber says he finds the new René (the twin brother) even more charming than the old one. When René comes up to them, Von Strohm, however asks Gruber to leave them alone, as he wants a word in private with René. When Gruber has gone, the colonel informs René of his plan. The next day, Herr Flick will put the real painting on a train to Berlin, where Heinrich Himmler will pick it up to deliver it to Hitler himself. Therefore, René must get his forgery out and switch it for the original before this happens. That very same evening, the café will be closed, in order to let Von Strohm have is own, private party there. The Germans will celebrate the anniversary of the burning down of the Reichstag. They will have a big "binge", the girls will be dressed up as Hitler Youth (with bare knees) and do "old traditional Bavarian dancing". While Herr Flick is enjoying himself at this party, the paintings in his office will be switched. In order to secure Herr Flick's showing up, Helga will let him know about the party and tell him he is not invited. They are then convinced he will come. Von Strohm informs René that he is the one who will do the switching. René would rather give the party, but he understands he cannot, since he does not know old traditional Bavarian dancing. Geering and Helga show him how it is done and he understands he will not be able to learn until that same night. Then, the colonel asks Helga to go and inform Herr Flick, which she does with delight.

LeClerc arrives, disguised as a cheese salesman, with the suitcase containing the radio, already connected. He hands over the suitcase to René, who puts it behind the bar. After LeClerc has left, Gruber comes up to the bar, wanting to chat with René, when the radio starts whistling. René tries to fool Gruber it is him who is whistling. However, it becomes more difficult to hide, when random code words start coming from the suitcase, such as "Pierre is enjoying his new bicycle". Gruber thinks it is René, who is uttering these words and asks about the persons mentioned. René has a rather difficult time trying to explain the strange sentences - especially "Listen carefully, I will meet you behind the wood shed at one o'clock!"

Helga goes to Herr Flick and informs him of the party. He announces that the two of them will attend it, uninvited. Helga also notices that Herr Flick has his copy of the painting on his wall. He tells her it is a forgery, whereupon she happens to say "No, Herr Flick, that's the real one" and then realizes what she has said. However, Herr Flick informs her, that it really is a forgery - the real one is rolled up in his high Gestapo boot. He had the forgery made a few weeks ago to be sent to Berlin. He will keep the original himself, to sell after the war when he and Helga will get married. Helga tries to leave, in order to tell the others that the painting in Herr Flick's office is a forgery, but he will not let her go.

When Michelle comes up to Fanny's room, dressed as a nun, Fanny wants to confess her sins to her and prepare to die. However, Michelle does not want to hear her confession, but informs the airmen, who are hidden in a small compartment under the floor, that they will be able to cross the Channel to England by boat that same night. Monsieur LeClerc is sitting in the cupboard and has just finished making their forged papers.

That same night, the Germans are having their celebration in the café, with Gruber singing and playing the piano. Meanwhile, Fanny dresses up to perform some entertainment. Four German girls and Yvette and Maria enter the café, dressed as Hitler Youth, and perform the old traditional Bavarian dancing. Then, Herr Flick and Helga (her also dressed as Hitler Youth) arrive and Helga manages to inform the two officers of the situation with the paintings.

Meanwhile, René and Edith, dressed as German officers (in the two new uniforms made in London), go to Herr Flick's headquarters to exchange the paintings. They pass the sentries by asking the first one what the password is, which he answers. Then, they can pass the second one, by giving him the right password and also find out what the reply is. René is carrying the framed painting in one hand. As they approach Herr Flick's headquarters, they are stopped by another officer, who takes the painting from them, in order to leave it in his headquarters. As they have lost the possibility to switch the paintings, they go home again.

In the café, Fanny performs a song, sung just as badly as Edith usually does. Meanwhile, René and Edith enter through the window of the backroom. They are frightened by Michelle, who is waiting there. She tells them the airmen must leave for the coast tonight and they will be their escort. Michelle and the airmen are also dressed as Hitler Youth, which will be their cover. Yvette and Maria enters the room, informing them that the lorry is ready. The seven of them drive it to the coast, where they gain access to the beach, by once more fooling the sentry about the password. There is a little rowboat on the shore but when the airmen learn that they will not be picked up by a submarine at sea - but are expected to row all the way to England - they refuse and so, after a quick game of leapfrog, they all return to the café.