'Allo 'Allo! (series 1) - Saville Row To The Rescue

Saville Row To The Rescue

• Original airdate: 28 September 1984
• Written by: David Croft & Jeremy Lloyd
• Directed by: David Croft
• Produced by: David Croft
• Episode length: 30 minutes

Edith is singing for the guests at the café, while René, who is carrying the painting under his shirt, gets note from Maria that Michelle wants to see him in the backroom. She gives him a bottle and when he asks what's in it, she replies "Bols!" At first, René takes offence to this, but she explains that it is Bols Gin - that is, nitroglycerin disguised as a bottle of Bols Gin. She wants him to hide it in his cellar for the moment, so they can use it to blow up the railway during the night. When she leaves, René goes to the bar with the bottle. However, lieutenant Gruber is standing there, wanting "something different" to drink. He suggests trying the gin, but René is reluctant to open it - since it really contains nitroglycerin. He says he will not open it for just one person. However, Gruber suggests René himself have a glass, and Yvette and Edith. When René still refuses, Gruber grabs the bottle, offers to buy the whole bottle and bangs it on the bar, making René quite nervous.

Fanny cries for somebody to come and attend to her and the airmen, who are once again hiding in her cupboard, ask her to keep it down - but as they do not understand each other, it doesn't happen. However, soon Edith brings her some onion soup. Fanny complains that it is always onion soup. Edith explains to her it is because the airmen will escape dressed as onion sellers and they cannot waste the onions, but Fanny says she wants a steak or poached eggs. When Edith says the don't have any eggs because the hens are not laying any, Fanny mentions that in "her days" they used to spice up the hen food with gin, which would always make them lay. She also wants some gin for herself and Edith goes after the gin bottle René has acquired from Michelle (unbeknownst to Edith containing nitroglycerin).

The two German officers are still dressed as onion sellers, sitting at a table in the café. The colonel is concerned that they have been away from the office a whole day and wonders what their superiors in Berlin will think if they find out. He also complains that when they did try to get in, the German sentry did not recognize them and even hit the colonel with his rifle butt. At this point, Helga shows up with bad news. Nobody has told her the uniforms are being made in London and so, she has been to the local cleaner's, asking for their spare uniforms, but they were not ready - they have been sent to Paris for "deluxe service" - on captain Geering's orders, it turns out. She also mentions that one of their superiors - general Erich von Klinkerhoffen - will arrive at their headquarters at ten o'clock the next day. That means they must be back, in uniform, by that time. Since it does not seem to work out, the captain suggests them getting a revolver and the colonel thinks it is to commit suicide with, in order to save their faces. However, the captain explains he only meant for them to shoot some of their toes off, so they would become invalids and go to hospital, in order to avoid meeting the general.

Edith pours two glasses from the "gin" bottle. She tells monsieur LeClerc to give one of them to her mother and Maria to mix the other one with the hen food. The colonel threatens to shoot René if they do not get their uniforms back by that same evening. René points out that they are being made in London and that the tailor was delayed since he had to go to a bar mitzvah. Helga is somewhat distraught at hearing they are being made in London and even by a Jewish tailor, but the officers tell her not to care.

When René discovers that Edith has opened the gin bottle and explains to her what it really contains, it turns out it is already too late - Fanny has already taken some and the hens have already been fed with it. They lay their eggs behind the hedge and as they do so, they blow up, one by one. Fanny is all right, but is somewhat difficult to silence as they contact London on the radio in her room.

Meanwhile, Herr Flick arrives in the café, ordering the colonel and the captain to report anything about the missing painting to him and Helga to be in his office in one hour. After he has left, René comes down and informs the Germans that their uniforms are on their way. A British plane will land in the vicinity that same night. The uniforms will be on it, the painting will be sent to London with it, to be copied, and the British airmen will go back to England with it. Edith tries to inform René that Michelle wants to see him, by saying that a man has arrived to read the gas meter (since she cannot mention Michelle in front of the Germans). René does not understand her and asks her to say what she means. Angrily, she says straight out, in front of the Germans, that Michelle of the resistance wants to see him. When the Germans learn that René is connected to the resistance, they decide to shoot Michelle, but René prevents this by informing them that Michelle is the only one who knows where the plane will land.

That same night, the Germans have come along on the mission and are even able to help the party get past a bridge, guarded by a German sentry. As he tries to tell the sentry who he really is, the sentry is hit in the back of the head and faints. At first, the colonel and the captain are very upset that their own people are knocked unconscious, but when they find out that it is the same sentry that hit the colonel with his rifle butt, it's not so bad after all. When the plane arrives, it turns out the pilot has a passenger with him - namely, the tailor who is making the uniforms. He tries the colonel's uniform on him and it turns out it's too small. He must then return to London to finish the uniforms and it turns out the airmen cannot go with them - the plane is too small to carry four people. However, they manage to send the painting with the plane.

• Note- the only time that Carmen Silvera is marked first and Gorden Kaye is marked second in the ending credits.